i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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