it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Drunk is a universal language darling
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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