Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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