Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
