It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
