She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
