don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
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If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
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THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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