You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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