He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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