I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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