Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
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strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
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I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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