i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
