he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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