i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
