Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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