I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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