Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
