she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize