We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
