please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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