At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
