Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Houston, we have a blender
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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