if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
