Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
