I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
