I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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