no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
