come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
