Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼‍♀️
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
