the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
