I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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