I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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