I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
