im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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