I wanna passion pit in your ass
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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