Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
