i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
