My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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