i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
