Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
