i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
