I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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