I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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