alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
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No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
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Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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