Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
