this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
