am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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