I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
