I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
