can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
