maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
