He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The struggles of a small town man whore
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
