so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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