i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
