PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
