We're like a lot better than the average bears
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
