i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize