The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
