I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
