This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
