So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
