If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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