So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
