If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
