i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
