My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
