In the future we'll all be gay
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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