So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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