TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
