$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
