I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
